


I Opened My Eyes and There You Were

by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck is a Self-Loathing Puppy Who Deserves Pets, Eddie Diaz Said 'I'm Gonna Destroy This Twink' and Y'know What He's Valid for It, Eddie is the Math Lady Meme, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, In College Though, M/M, Not That Buck's a Twink... Now, Set Vaguely in the Hiatus Between Seasons Three and Four, Soft Eddie Diaz, These Boys? Taking Their Relationship Slow? Fake News, You Know He Totally Was Don't Deny It, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:16:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23912914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/pseuds/letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
Summary: In which Buck provides the dots and Eddie finally connects them.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 89
Kudos: 1452





	I Opened My Eyes and There You Were

It’s Christopher’s ninth birthday party, and it’s a fucking doozy.

The entire 118 is there, along with a bunch of friends from Christopher’s school, and what members of Eddie’s family could be there, and by the time all is said and done the place is trashed.

Buck wasn’t conscripted to stay over and help, or anything, but he might as well, right? He came over early to help set up, and it’s not really _that_ big of a mess, so…

“Buck!” Maddie pauses to let Chim help her into her coat. “We’re thinking of grabbing some drinks at the bar, you want to come?”

Hen waves over Maddie’s head, but Buck shakes his head. “Nah, I’m gonna help Eddie clean.”

Maddie, Hen, and Chimney all exchange a look that Buck can’t quite decipher, and then his sister smiles brightly. “All right, have fun! Love you!”

“You too!”

She’s started saying that a lot more now, after his little… confession. After Red. _I love you, Buck._

He starts throwing away the food that needs to be, putting the rest in containers. Then he moves onto the dishes. Washes ‘em, puts ‘em in the dishwasher.

“Holy shit.” Buck turns to see Eddie standing in the living room, an odd look on his face. “You cleaned up.”

“You just hosted a party, man, least I could do.” Buck wipes his hands off and opens the fridge. “You want a beer?”

“…sure.” Eddie walks over. That odd look is still on his face. Like he’s just solved a math equation.

Buck hands him a beer, opening his own. “So, how’s Christopher feeling?”

“Happy. Exhausted. Best birthday ever, I think.” Eddie leans back against the counter, sipping his beer. “You really don’t have to do all this.”

“Yeah, man, of course I do.” Maybe if he says ‘man’ and ‘bro’ enough nobody will notice the huge fucking crush he’s got on his best friend. Nothing says ‘humiliation’ like moving on from the woman who obviously and painfully broke his heart only to immediately trip and fall into pining over the one person he can’t have. “You don’t have to do all of this yourself. We’re family.”

“Hmm.” Eddie looks around pointedly. “And that’s why everyone stayed to help clean up, huh?”

“Ah, well.” Buck shrugs, takes a sip of his beer to try and cover the heat crawling up his neck. “I’m just special.”

He flashes Eddie an _aren’t I so cute_ grin, the kind he gives to Bobby all the time, but Eddie, for once, doesn’t roll his eyes. He just… stares Buck down, like he’s daring him to do something.

Buck’s not entirely sure what the dare is, but he’s never been one to back down. He shrugs, rolls his shoulders back, saunters closer. It reminds him, oddly, of that night he asked Eddie if those guys in the fight pit were the ones he really wanted to take a swing at.

“You’re special all right,” Eddie says, taking another sip and then setting his beer down. “First successful transplant of a golden retriever’s brain into a human body.”

“Oh ha, ha, very funny.” His brain comes up with the very non-platonic and very nonsensical, _does this mean I can lick you,_ and hoo boy, he is not going there. Nope.

“You know,” Eddie says, and his voice has dipped into that even tone it gets when he’s being serious, “You don’t have to do things for us to get us to love you. We already care about you.”

Buck’s heart leaps up and lodges in his throat, strangling him. “I… that’s not why I stayed to clean up.”

“You sure?” Eddie arches an eyebrow. He’s rather good at that, and it’s annoyingly attractive. “Because I know… I know the whole thing with Red messed you up. And I just want you to know. We love you anyway. Because you’re you, not because of what you do for us.”

 _Don’t say you love me,_ he wants to scream, like a child. Eddie—Eddie doesn’t—not the way Buck—and it hurts, to hear it, and to know that it’s not—the same.

“I know, Eddie.” He ducks his head down a little. “I—I know. I’m not doing this for—validation, I’m doing it because I—because I care.” How else is he going to show how he cares, if not by doing things for the people he loves?

Eddie tilts his head at him. “God, do you even know what you’re doing?”

Buck smiles, tries to lighten the mood. “Being the best friend ever?”

Eddie looks up at the ceiling like he’s praying for patience (the guy says he’s not religious but that’s a big fat lie, Buck’s overheard Eddie arguing with God too much not to know the truth), and then he steps right up into Buck’s space.

Somehow they’ve maneuvered themselves, engaged in a dance that Buck didn’t even realize he knew the steps to, and it puts his back to the kitchen island, pinning him. Eddie’s not touching him, not… yet? But there’s barely an inch of space between them, and Eddie’s looking at him—looking at him like he did that night, when they were talking about fight club, but also more, somehow, and Buck feels like he stepped on a landmine.

“Looking up at me through your lashes, hand on your pants, like you’re about to…” Eddie seems to catch himself, looks horrified, and then starts to step back.

Buck’s heart is beating so fast it could outpace a hummingbird. “Like I’m about to what?” he demands, and his voice cracks.

Eddie shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have—I’m sorry.”

“No.” If he’s somehow exposed himself, revealed the rough, raw truth of how he’s been feeling, then they’re going to have it out right here, right now. He won’t go through a long, drawn out disintegration of their friendship. “What do I look like, Eddie?”

Eddie’s tongue swipes over his bottom lip and then he looks back up to meet Buck’s gaze. “Like you’re about to drop to your knees for me.”

Jesus Christ. “I’m sorry.” Is he really that obvious? Of course he is, stupid, stupid, _stupid—_

“No, I’m sorry, I—shit.” Eddie scrubs a hand across his face, grabs his beer, takes a long pull from it. “I should’ve—I was never sure, sometimes I thought—but then tonight I—”

“Please let me keep seeing Christopher.” Even if Eddie doesn’t want to see him again… he knows Eddie’s got nothing against people of any sexuality, but it’s awkward when your best friend’s in love with you and you don’t feel the same way. “Please, Eddie. You can just drop him off at my place, you don’t have to see me.”

“What—the fuck?” Eddie squints at him. “Why the fuck wouldn’t I want to see you, Buck?”

“Because of how I look at you.”

Eddie stares at him. “Buck. I just basically treated you like—I propositioned you, talked like you were some kind of—Jesus. That wasn’t right of me, and you’re apologizing? So I read it wrong and I acted like an—”

“You didn’t read it wrong.” He’s ignoring the Get Out of Jail Free card he’s just been handed, but he’s not going to let Eddie beat himself up thinking he said something that was unwanted. “You—you didn’t.”

Silence falls.

He should leave. He should really leave, get out of here, but he can’t seem to make himself. It’s like his feet are nailed to the floor.

“You stayed to clean up,” Eddie says, his voice soft. His eyes are soft, too, as they gaze at Buck. “You stayed, and I—you always stay. You clean up. You spend time with Christopher—as much time as I do, if we’re being honest. You found us Carla, you built a skateboard, you’re always, you’re always there.”

Buck isn’t quite sure he knows what Eddie’s saying, but his breath is coming in tight and hot and he can’t seem to tear his gaze away from Eddie’s. Eddie steps in again, and he’s an inch or two shorter, but right now it’s like he looms over Buck.

“You were always right here,” Eddie says, and _oh,_ Buck gets it, and just in case he missed the memo, Eddie kisses him.

It’s a soft kiss, over and done with far too soon as Eddie pulls back, like he’s gaging Buck’s reaction. And Buck—he can’t help himself, he can’t, he never thought Eddie would—that he could ever—and he surges forward, hands framing Eddie’s face, kissing him again.

Eddie grabs Buck’s hips and somehow turns their stumbling into a purposeful step towards the counter, pinning Buck against it, his tongue stealing into Buck’s mouth.

He has no idea how long they kiss for. Could be minutes, could be hours. Hell, the sun might be coming up for all he knows. Eddie’s got a hand in his hair, another at his waist, and he’s kissing him. What else does Buck need to know?

“We shouldn’t—” Eddie dives back in and bites at his jaw, and Buck’s hips restlessly thrust upward, seeking friction. Jesus Christ. He’s not sure he’s ever been this turned on in his life. Two years of pining can do that to a guy, apparently. “We should take this slow—”

“You’re right.” He’s classy, now, he doesn’t just have random sex anymore, and they’ve got Christopher to think about. “Right, right, we should—”

He pulls back, but whatever Eddie sees on his face has him groaning and holding onto Buck even tighter to kiss him again. “ _Fuck._ ”

“Y’know, we are—we have been—doing a lot of date stuff already,” Buck points out, in between heated kisses and slow, deliberate rolls of the hips that have him seeing stars. He’s so hard in his jeans that it feels like his dick is about to lose circulation. “I think you know me better than any previous, ah, girlfriend—oh fuck—ever did, if you—”

Eddie swears under his breath and _bites_ , hard, at Buck’s pulse point in his neck, and Buck is hit by a punch of lust so strong he nearly comes in his pants. “You do practically live here.”

“Yeah, yeah, I do—” He manages to get his hands up underneath Eddie’s shirt and shivers at all the warm skin that greets his fingertips.

“Mmm.” Eddie sucks at the spot he bit, soothing it. “Christopher practically sees you as another dad.”

“Wait—what? He does?” That’s the best fuckin’ thing he’s heard since… well, since Eddie admitted he likes him. Romantically.

“Mmhmm.” Eddie kisses his way slowly, methodically, back up Buck’s neck. “I mean. You’ve already hit all the milestones I need before sex.”

“Seeing you for the first time made me realize I wasn’t straight,” Buck blurts out.

Eddie stares at him, eyebrow up, looking incredibly amused.

“So. Y’know.” Buck clears his throat. “I am definitely not going to say no, if you’re okay with—if you’re really sure—”

“Am I a dumbass for not realizing until now that I want to date you? Yeah.” Eddie’s hands fall to Buck’s jeans, thumbing them open and dragging down the zipper and oh shit, oh fuck, they’re seriously doing this. “Do I plan on wasting another second with the one goddamn person I trust completely? No.”

Buck might pass out. “I’ll definitely go down on you. If that’s what you want.”

“You sure?” Eddie’s voice is pure sin as he mouths at the bolt of Buck’s jaw. “Because I was kinda hoping I could fuck you.”

Oh Jesus fucking Christ. “Y-yeah, yeah, sure, we can—I’m not gonna argue with that, yup, yeah, we can do that.”

They kiss again, deep and a little sloppy, and when Eddie sucks on his tongue, Buck’s ninety percent sure he actually died and this is Heaven.

The trip to Eddie’s room is rushed but quiet, trying not to wake the kid next door, but Buck’s also pretty sure that not even police sirens could wake Christopher up, not after he crashed from that sugar high an hour ago.

Eddie carefully closes the bedroom door behind him, and gives Buck a look that has Buck’s knees going weak. Fuck. He’d thought he’d seen Eddie in command before, putting him in his place, like when he’d gotten up in Eddie’s face in the gym, but turned out, he hadn’t seen anything yet.

“Strip,” Eddie orders, and Buck… well.

He toys with the hem of his jeans, looking up at Eddie through his lashes. “Can I get a ‘please’?”

Eddie honest-to-God growls, and Buck’s shoving his pants down faster than he can blink. Holy shit.

He manages to get his shirt off, but he hasn’t even tossed it to the side before Eddie’s on him, kissing him again, and Buck frantically tugs at Eddie’s clothes to try and get them off, even things up a bit. He has to wrestle Eddie out of his clothes, because Eddie simply refuses to detach his mouth from Buck’s skin for any length of time, but at last they manage it and fall on top of each other onto the bed.

“Since you first saw me, huh?” Eddie asks, gripping Buck’s hips and scraping his teeth over Buck’s nipple.

Buck arches up, his cock jerking. God, that feels so good. It’s so good just to _touch_ someone again, but even more so because it’s someone he loves, it’s not just some random person, it’s _Eddie._ “Didn’t—didn’t really—it was just this buzz in the back of my brain. It wasn’t until I—until all that dirt came down on top of you that I realized, y’know, that maybe it wasn’t just _oh my best friend’s hot_ —and then Abby…”

Eddie migrates down to Buck’s hip and sucks a remarkably large hickey into the spot, growling again. Buck has to bite down on his hand to stifle his laugh. Eddie was… oddly prickly around Abby when she came back, and well, now it looks like Buck knows why. Even if Eddie wasn’t completely aware of it at the time. “What about her?”

“Talking with her, seeing her again—y’know, closure, think I needed that, but—made me realize. I just wanted—I didn’t want anyone else. I want—just you.”

The look on Eddie’s face is pure triumph. He gets his hands on Buck’s thighs, spreading his legs, and pops his mouth away from Buck’s skin long enough to say, “There’s lube and condoms in the drawer,” before diving right back down again.

Jesus Christ. Eddie’s a guy who does everything with determination, thoroughness, and no small amount of intensity, and Buck’s had quite a few guilty fantasies wondering how that would translate into the bedroom, but he seriously was not prepared for Eddie _fucking him with his tongue,_ holy _shit._ His spine is melting. He has no bones anymore. He can only pant up at the ceiling, eyes unseeing, as Eddie turns his entire body into jelly.

Eddie finally pulls his mouth away, eyes expectant, and holds his hand out.

Oh, shit, right, lube. Condom.

Buck fumbles with the bedside drawer, yanks it open, and finds an open box of condoms and a half-empty bottle of lube.

“Ana,” Eddie explains, probably sensing the question in Buck’s gaze.

Ah, yeah. Christopher’s teacher. She and Eddie went on a few dates, were together for about a month, and just didn’t work out. Eddie had said something about how he didn’t want to tell Christopher, wanted to keep the two parts of his life separate, and she had (rightfully, if Buck’s being honest) decided that if Eddie wanted that, their relationship was a dead end.

Eddie slicks up his fingers, gives Buck a wink that’s absolutely _filthy,_ and then starts working him open.

Motherfucker.

Buck just about crams his entire fist into his mouth trying to keep quiet as Eddie spreads his fingers carefully, curls them, tucks them into the heat of him, corkscrews them in and out until Eddie’s leaving bite marks on his knuckles. Yeah, whatever issues Shannon and Ana Flores had with Eddie, sex was _not_ one of them. The man knows how to finger someone.

God, he needs Eddie’s cock inside him _yesterday_.

“I’m ready,” he gasps out, his voice hoarse. “Eddie, c’mon, c’mon.”

“You sure?” Eddie’s teasing him, because he’s already sliding the condom on.

Buck pouts. Now that he knows it gets to Eddie, he’s never going to _not_ use it to get what he wants. “Please?”

“Wow, and I didn’t even have to tell you.” Eddie’s grin is blinding as he crawls back up to kiss Buck on the mouth. “Such a good boy.”

Buck’s cock practically leaps at that. Okay, so he likes the praise, likes that phrase, a lot more than he expected.

Eddie smirks, hikes Buck’s thigh up, and then slowly—so slowly Buck feels like even their heartbeats have slowed down to match—presses in.

It’s… a lot. He was so relaxed by the time Eddie slid his fingers in that he didn’t really even think about it, but Eddie’s cock is… it’s a cock, it’s big, and he understands now why women need so much prep beforehand, why his prom date was so nervous. But at the same time—it feels good. It’s a bit overwhelming but in a good way, an _I want more_ kind of way, and more than that—it’s Eddie. He trusts Eddie with his life, he definitely trusts him with this.

Eddie massages Buck’s sides, kisses all over his face, and Buck feels—he feels soaked in affection. God, he’s so greedy, he wants this all the time. He gets daring, gets a handful of Eddie’s ass and fits his other hand around the back of Eddie’s neck, and Eddie shudders in pleasure.

For a moment, it’s as if time just… doesn’t matter. It’s not even like time stops, it just isn’t a factor. Like kissing in the kitchen. It could be hours, and Buck wouldn’t care. He wraps a leg around Eddie’s, presses his face into the curve of Eddie’s neck, and holds there. Breathes in the dark, musky scent of him, feels Eddie’s pulse pounding against his lips, just underneath the warm skin. Hears every single one of Eddie’s deep breaths.

Then Eddie moves.

He’s almost forgotten that Eddie’s inside him, grown comfortable with it, and now he’s reminded of it all over again and he bites down on Eddie’s shoulder to keep from swearing loudly. It feels—okay he figured it would feel good, but it feels… _so_ good. Jesus. He had no idea.

There’s no more teasing, no more quips, just kisses pressed to his jaw, his chest, his neck as Eddie fucks into him. His hand moves to brace Buck’s leg, fingers digging into the meat of his thigh, and he shifts angles slightly until he finds one that has Buck’s entire body jerking like he was lounging in a bath and added a toaster. His nails dig into Eddie’s back. Sweat slides down the side of his face, his neck, his arms. As he turns his head, his teeth catch on Eddie’s ear, seizing, tugging, and Eddie bites his shoulder in retaliation. It’s messy, deep, intimate, and God, he might fucking cry from how full he feels.

Eddie fumbles, and then pushes himself up, gets his hand between them and strokes Buck’s cock. Buck scratches at Eddie’s back, a low moan escaping before he can stop it, kissing him ferociously. His body’s jerking uncontrollably as Eddie keeps hitting that one spot over and over, lights going off behind his eyes, and now with Eddie’s hand around his cock…

He draws Eddie’s tongue into his mouth, sucks on it, clenches around Eddie’s cock, does everything he can to draw him over the edge. He doesn’t want to fall alone, literally or figuratively, he’s so fucking gone on this man and he can’t fall alone anymore.

Eddie bites his lip so hard he draws blood and Buck comes hard, the breath slapped out of him, shaking. He can’t be sure because, well, condom, but he can guess based on the way Eddie’s body goes stiff and he shoves himself completely into Buck that Eddie’s coming, too.

For a second they lie there, panting, as Buck coasts on the high.

He doesn’t want to think about what happens next.

Will Eddie tell him to leave?

Fear seeps into his chest like ice, like ocean water from a tsunami, but before he can say anything, Eddie rolls off him and throws the condom neatly into the small trash can off to the side. Clearly, he’s done that plenty of times before.

“Shower’s just big enough for two, if you don’t try anything stupid,” he comments.

The ice in his chest melts. The water recedes. “Since when have I done anything stupid?”

“You tried to sing along to Shakira with the soap as a microphone in the station showers.”

“That was _one time—_ ”

Buck doesn’t goof off, mainly because exhaustion is starting to seep in now that he’s coming down from his orgasm and his body is reminding him what a long day it’s been. They wash each other’s backs, and Eddie kisses him nice and slow under the warm spray, his hand pressing low on Buck’s stomach, like he’s keeping him.

Buck really, really hopes Eddie keeps him.

He borrows a pair of Eddie’s sweatpants to sleep in, and he doesn’t even think about the morning as he crashes into bed, Eddie’s arm draped over his back.

Until he wakes up to Christopher calling for his dad.

_Shit._

Buck sits bolt upright, fear and adrenaline flooding him. Eddie’s also wide awake, scrambling for a t-shirt.

“I can sneak out the back.” Where the fuck are his jeans? “If you, uh, go out and distract him—he’ll have no idea I was here—”

Ah, there’s his underwear. Excellent.

Eddie grabs his wrist. Stops him.

“Where are you going?”

Buck looks up. “You—uh.”

“Do you want to go?” Eddie’s eyes are heavy.

“No,” Buck blurts out. “I thought—it’s complicated. With a kid. Figured you might want some time to… adjust.” They’ve only just gone from friends to something more, and he knows that even Shannon was relegated to ‘secret tryst’ for two months before Eddie let her see Christopher again. Eddie is protective of everyone he loves, but no one more than his son. Buck knows it’s because Eddie himself was once a stranger, once failed Christopher, and won’t allow anyone even the slimmest opportunity to do the same.

Why on earth would he want Christopher to know that Buck’s become more than a friend when he and Eddie haven’t even discussed it? Far as Buck knows, Christopher wasn’t even aware that his dad was dating his teacher.

Eddie tilts his head and seems to consider this, then gives him a small, warm smile. “Nah. You’re already his favorite person. He should know you’re mine.”

“I’m your favorite person?” What? He can’t help himself, he’s gotta press the point.

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Wipe that ridiculous smile off your face before I regret saying that.”

“Dad?” Christopher’s right outside the bedroom door.

Eddie squeezes Buck’s wrist, then lets go and walks over to open the door. “Hey, buddy, good morning!”

He picks Christopher up to give him a hug, and Chris sees Buck. “Buck!”

“Hey! Hope it’s okay I, ah, slept over.”

Christopher might be a kid, but he’s not stupid. Buck’s shirtless, they clearly just woke up, and the bed is a mess of tangled blankets. There are pillows on the floor. Buck can see him connecting the dots.

Eddie sets Christopher down and clears his throat. “I’m gonna go start on breakfast.”

Buck’s heart just about stops as Eddie leans into him and kisses the corner of his mouth, his hand braced on Buck’s shoulder, before stepping out into the hall.

Christopher grins at him. “Do you think we could have birthday cake for breakfast?”

Buck can feel his knees buckling and has to lock them. “That’s up to your dad. C’mere.”

He picks him up and Christopher hugs him, as if this is normal, as if this is every day.

“Christopher!” Eddie’s voice echoes down the hall. “Did you make your bed?”

“Oops,” Christopher whispers.

Buck grins. “Go on, I’ll cover for you.”

Eddie’s pouring orange juice when he gets to the kitchen. His gaze drifts down to Buck’s neck and he smirks.

Ah. He’s got some pretty impressive hickeys, if the soreness and Eddie’s face are anything to go by.

He doesn’t know how to say… those words, not yet, but he does want to make one thing clear. Eddie’s giving Buck a lot of trust, letting his son know about them. Letting Buck stay over.

“I’m always going to be here,” he promises, sauntering over, giving Eddie that smile that he knows, now, makes Eddie crazy. “I’m not going anywhere.” _I’ll never leave you._

Eddie draws Buck in, presses his hand to the small of Buck’s back, the look on his face the same as the time he said _there’s nobody I trust with my son more than you._ “I know.”

He could make a quip about Han Solo, but he decides it’s a much better use of his time to kiss Eddie instead.

After all, now he can.


End file.
